Why your inner voice is always talking, but it takes courage to listen

When I was 22, I decided to start a business delivering arts workshops to kids in schools. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was fresh out of college with an art degree and a huge amount of debt, and I felt strongly that I had to find a way to use this qualification I’d worked so hard to achieve.

At that time, I hadn’t stepped into a school classroom since I’d been a student in one myself as a child, and I knew nothing about teaching methodologies or the curriculum, I just figured I’d give it a go. And you know what? It worked. I built a business and worked in dozens of schools with children and teens of all ages, weaving in social-emotional themes through the process of creating art, and although I spent the majority of the time feeling out of my depth and scared witless, I learned to always figure it out. It led me to find an incredible job working in bullying prevention, which in turn led to me moving to the USA and becoming an author.  

I didn’t know if then, but my Spark was speaking to me, guiding me to find my passion and purpose – working in schools, helping children and young people to connect more deeply within, and supporting kids to navigate this tricky thing called life.

If I’d thought about it more deeply at the time, I probably would never have started that business. I could’ve stuck to my 9-5 office job, I could’ve avoided the risk of trying something that would possibly fail, but at a level beyond my conscious awareness, I knew I had to give it a go. From somewhere within, I summoned just enough courage to outweigh the fear.

Following the call of your Spark, or even being willing to listen to it in the first place, requires bravery. It’s relatively easy to conform in our society, to follow what everyone else is doing and stick to the status quo. Being an outlier, a person who takes risks, that requires courage and bravery, and often results in a fair old dose of loneliness. When everyone else is walking from A to B, and you’re off running around in XYZ, well that’s challenging. It’s challenging to allow ourselves to commit to what we intuitively know is right for us, that no one else is doing, but it’s also challenging for them, for the masses looking on, as our expansion and bravery can be exposing. When someone is facing their fears and listening to their heart, it invites those around them to do the same. A lot of people are not ready to face themselves, to look at where in their life they feel stuck and bored, to identify where they’ve let go of their hopes and dreams.

To recognise that they may have lost their Spark.

That’s tough. And so, if you’re a person who is committed to finding that thing which sparks joy for you, summoning up your courage to act on it, and being willing to listen to the whispers of your soul, I salute you. But don’t be derailed by those who find your journey confronting. Have compassion, as there’s a version of us all out there in some parallel universe that didn’t follow our intuition, that ignored our Spark and fell back into fear when a tiny bit of courage may have been enough.

Let’s be clear, though: the journey of hearing and acting upon your Spark – that inner guidance that’s pushing you towards being the person you came here to be – that’s not a linear process. I didn’t start that business at age 22 and carry on forever more as a successful entrepreneur, patting myself on the back, my ears ringing with self-congratulation. There would be periods of flowing with my inner guidance and feeling as though I were living on-purpose, and there would be prolonged periods of self-doubt, inertia, not trusting myself or the world to deliver on its promises. Life is not a straight line.

There were times when I felt as though I’d been left to undertake this journey alone, where it felt like there was no Spark in my life, and in the place where inner guidance used to be there was just doubt, self-criticism and uncertainty. In those times I wrote to myself, literally having a conversation with myself through paper and pen, and I asked “What is my purpose!? Why am I here?! How am I supposed to help all these children that need support, how do I reach them all?”

My words were full of frustration. I took a breath and let my Spark write back. It said, “Just start with one child. One classroom. One school.”  In those words, there was a permission to just be. Knowing that there’s a path, but not feeling stuck on it. Its not about doing big, grand things in the world, although that’s fun, too. It’s also about just one child. One classroom. One school.

So I invite you today to sit down with your Spark, to find a connection to that part within you that is wise, calm, deep and centred. Know that there is endless guidance and that feeling fearful is part of the process.

Go on, have the courage to listen, and you might just be surprised by what you hear.